Namarie
by slash1
Summary: That scene in the movie where Legolas was most beautiful. Complete with epilogue. Woohoo!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Not mine. The characters. See? Not all wishes come true. We'll just have to make the best of what we have. Hehe.

Warning: Slash. First A/L fic. Written without brain's consent.

Pairing: A/L

Summary. Saying goodbye.

I look at you, in front of all these people. You stand in front of the wizard, regal. You are ready. Finally.

To be king.

I watch as you are crowned, honored by your people.

Finally, you are where you belong.

The ruler of your people.

You have accepted your destiny.

I bow my head. I am happy for you. Truly, I am.

And yet…yet I also feel sorrow.

We are parting soon. Too soon for me.

Yet the time has come.

I dreaded this day, when we go our separate ways.

My heart breaks.

Never again will I hear your voice, giving hope to those who had none.

Never again will I see your smile, a sight that always manages to brighten the day.

Never again.

You begin to sing. I close my eyes and let your voice soothe the pain within me. But it grows worse still.

This will be the last time I hear you sing.

You need to be with your people now. I know that. I understand.

But I…I cannot stay.

I know that I had promised you I would always be by your side. But I can not.

It hurts too much.

I did not know, you see. I did not know that it would grow stronger. I did not know it would come to overwhelm me. So I made my promise to stay.

Each day that passes, each day that has passed, and we were together, it grew, stronger even than the power of the one ring. Stronger than the power that managed to destroy, the very reason that we were together in the war. It has become too much, even for me.

It was fine at first. Just a little ache.

But now, it brings me so much pain, being so near, yet not near enough.

I cannot bear it. I hurt.

I thought that I would be strong enough. But I am not.

The pain defeats me.

I cannot stay.

I love you too much. So much it hurts.

I need to let you go.

To do that, **I **need to go. For I cannot have you.

You belong to her.

There is no hope. None for me.

There never was. 

How could I hope to win your heart when someone else already owns it?

I know that you would never give it to me, even if it were not bound to another.

I never had hope.

I just didn't know it would hurt this much when the time finally came.

You need her. She can give you everything, where as I offer you nothing but the love of a foolish elf.

You love her, more than anything. You see me as a friend. Nothing more.

No, wait. That is not true.

Your friendship means the world to me.

You start walking down, greeting your people, your friends, your allies.

My breath hitches as you draw closer to me.

You smile, and I almost cried.

That would also be the last I see of that smile.

Fate has been unkind to me. They play with me. Here I am, heart breaking at the thought of losing you, and yet I am tasked with being the one to inform you of her presence.

I am giving you away.

That is not true. I cannot give away what I never had.

I am merely returning what I had borrowed.

It hurts.

You stand in front of me now. I smile, clasping your shoulder. You do the same.

I fight the urge to pull you in my arms.

I cannot disgrace you.

Not in front of your people.

You would hate me.

And that, I cannot bear.

"Hannon le."

You say.

You thank me?

Nay.

I thank you.

You gave me the closest thing I will ever have of a wish fulfilled, your friendship. 

Trust, loyalty, faith.

You gave them to me.

You gave what you could.

Nay, my love.

I thank you.

More than you will ever know.

I look to the side, telling you of her presence.

You look confused at first, but follow my line of sight anyway.

I could tell the exact moment you see her.

Surprise registers in your face, replaced by happiness. Then love.

I turn away and move aside.

You are now where you belong.

I watch as you go to her.

I tried not to, but I could not help it.

You cannot believe your eyes. I can see the questions in your mind.

Is she really here, or have you strayed into another dream?

This is no dream. 

She smiles at you. I cannot see your face now, since your back is turned to me.

You take hold of her.

I look away. I know what you are going to do.

I cannot bear to watch.

The people cheer, I keep my eyes closed.

I don't want to see.

Oh Valar it hurts!

I turn to leave.

I open my eyes.

I was surprised to see Gandalf watching me closely. Gimli stood beside him.

They know.

Oh Valar, they know. 

They cannot. I will not betray you.

Oh love, forgive me.

I plead with them silently.

They cannot tell.

They cannot.

Gimli grumbles. Gandalf looks disapproving.

But in the end, they turn away, pretending not to have seen anything.

I thank them silently, and slip away amongst the crowd.

I see Arod, waiting for me at the gates. I had prepared him earlier.

We are set to go. I turn to look at Minas Tirith one last time.

Your home.

I mount the horse. He whines, refusing to move.

"Arod." I plead.

I need to leave.

Finally, he gives in.

We are now in the fields of Pelennor, riding at break neck speed.

Suddenly, I stop abruptly.

One last time.

I need to look one last time.

Minas Tirith.

I see the people rejoicing on the courtyard. I hear faintly the music.

One more look, then I turn away, heading north.

I feel the ache in my heart grow as I move farther away from you.

I fight to stop the tears.

This is what is meant to be.

This is destiny.

You are meant to be with her.

And I am meant to leave you in peace.

And that, I shall do.

Namarie, melamin.

You will always be in my heart.

End.


	2. epilogue

Disclaimer: If wishes were horses…I would be JRR. Yes, I want to be him. Then I'd be a famous author and own these wonderful characters, and I'd be dead before I see what people do to them. Hehehe.

Warning: Slash. Fluff.

Pairing: A/L

Summary: I would never let these two part for long. Really.

Epilogue.

Legolas sat quietly in the corner, watching the people in the bar. No one paid him any mind, and he was left alone to his thoughts.

He watched the humans. Drinking, laughing, talking aloud.

It was sad how quickly they forget. It was no wonder then that Sauron was almost successful in coming back to power. People forget too easily the mistakes that should never have been made.

The prince of Mirkwood sighed and shifted in his seat, careful not to dislodge the hood he was wearing. Even now, humans were uncomfortable around elves. He thought it best to hide his features from them.

Though he looked suspicious in his dark cloak and hidden face, it was not the first time the people have seen one dressed as such.

This was Bree after all.

He took the mug sitting on the table and sipped a small amount rum. The bitter taste was not to his liking, but the effects were what he desired.

They made him numb to everything.

It has been five months since he departed from Minas Tirith. He had expected the pain to subside a little. But it only grew worse.

He did not know that elves faded this slowly.

Nor this painfully.

"….King Elessar…"

He caught the name briefly from the men talking on the nearest table to him.

His heart contracted in pain.

King Elessar.

That was who he was to the people.

But to Legolas, to the prince of Mirkwood, he would always be Aragorn.

Estel.

Strider.

Legolas smiled.

He liked Aragorn best.

He missed him. Everyday that they had been apart.

He had tried to forget. He traveled far, never letting himself rest, nor linger in any place. Because everytime he did, memories would assault him, and the pain became worse.

So he rode far and wide, never stopping until his body protested and he was only a few moments away from complete exhaustion. Only then would he stop.

Because then he would not be able to think.

This was a rare moment. Sitting alone in the dark, drinking rum.

He rarely allowed himself to brood.

But today, today he let himself.

It was his conception day, after all.

He deserved some measure of…

Measure of what?

Pain?

Happiness.

Joy mixed with pain.

But he would gladly take the pain.

The memories brought him joy, of a time when he was with his beloved, fighting by his side.

When he could see Aragorn's smile, hear his voice.

See him.

A thought came to him. A most welcome, unwelcome thought.

Minas Tirith was not that far.

Maybe he could…

No!

He was not going back. He was never going back.

Because if he did, he would never be able to leave.

He could not afford to do that.

He made a promise. And he would keep it.

He would leave the king in peace.

And that he continued to do.

There were so many times when he was tempted. He would be there, in Osgiliath, looking at the White City, fighting with himself whether he should go or not. But he always turned away.

But sometimes, the feeling was overwhelming.

That was when he discovered rum, and wine, miruvor.

They made him forget. They chased away the pain.

In exchange for a splitting headache in the morning. But he took it.

Legolas knew he was fading away. Everyday he grew weaker. His body tired easily, and his hunger came more often than it used to. His eyes were almost always glazed, and he slept with them closed.

His body was tired, and so was his soul.

He wanted it all to end.

So he could rest.

He needed it.

"…Lady Arwen was…"

Ah. Arwen.

The elf who had all that Legolas wanted.

The one man he wanted.

He wondered how they were.

They were probably married already. 

Legolas did not bother to find out. He would rather not know. Then, he could still make believe that he and Aragorn might someday meet again and…

It was a foolish thought. He had a foolish heart.

Aragorn was happy with her. The man probably did not even think about Legolas anymore.

The prince wondered if Aragorn even noticed him gone.

Of course he would.

Legolas was a good friend, who had promised to stay by his side, and then left without a word.

But it was probably a passing thought.

Aragorn had Arwen, the elf that he loved, that he was meant to be with.

He would not linger on thoughts of Legolas.

Maybe a moment, every now and then, the king would remember the Mirkwood prince. But only for a moment, very brief, and very rarely.

Legolas took another drink from his cup.

The rum burned his throat, distracting him from a worse pain in his heart.

"…I heard…King…ill…"

The words made Legolas sit straighter in his chair.

Aragorn was sick?

But he could not be.

He strained his ear, filtering out all other noise, centering his senses to the man speaking about his beloved.

"…says to have contracted some sort of strange illness. Not even the great wizard could help. Last I heard, he was dying, if not dead."

No!

The words froze Legolas.

He could not be dead!

It cannot be true.

Legolas ran out of the bar.

He quickly called for Arod, then mounted him.

"To Minas Tirith!" He instructed.

He cannot be too late.

He arrived in three days time.

He quickly proceeded to the castle, up the winding paths of the White City. He dismounted on the courtyard where the white tree stood, almost running inside the castle.

But guards stopped him.

Of course they would. He had on a dark cloak that no one could recognize him, and he seemed like he was storming into the castle.

"Show yourself!" One guard demanded.

Legolas was impatient, but he was still rational.

He pulled down his hood.

"I am Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood. I am a friend of the king."

The guards took in his appearance, somewhat unruly hair, dirty clothes, his face smudged with mud and sweat.

He did not look like an elf at all, certainly not a prince.

The guards were about to interrogate him further when the steward of Gondor saw him.

"Legolas!"

The elf prince and the two guards turned to look at Faramir.

"You know him, sir?" The guard inquired.

"He is the prince of Mirkwood! Let him pass." Faramir ordered at once. The guards obeyed immediately.

Legolas rushed inside. 

"I need to see him. Is he…?"

/Please tell me he is alive./

Faramir nodded, guiding Legolas inside the castle towards the king's chambers.

"Yes. This way. He would want to see you too."

Legolas sighed in relief. Aragorn was still alive.

But he was ill.

Legolas walked faster. 

He did not notice Faramir gesturing to a servant in the corner of the hallway ahead of them. Nor did he see the servant rush towards the king's chambers through another hallway.

He was too busy thinking of Aragorn.

/Aragorn./

Faramir opened the door to Aragorn's chambers, letting Legolas in. The elf prince was alarmed to note that the room was in total darkness. He looked questioningly at the steward.

"The light hurts his eyes." Faramir said, then closed the door, leaving Legolas alone in the room to find Aragorn. The elf noted that Faramir seemed to be keeping something from him, but he dismissed it.

Legolas moved towards the bed. He could see Aragorn lying in the middle, covered to his head with a sheet.

"Aragorn." Legolas whispered. Tears formed in his eyes at the thought that his friend, his beloved was ill…dying.

/But this is not right. You are strong. You survived the war./

He was so deep in his thoughts and emotions that he did not notice the shadow moving behind him.

Suddenly, he was tackled to the ground. 

Legolas was taken by surprise, and he was easily overpowered.

/Aragorn!/

His first thought was for his beloved. Has the attacker come to kill the king? He would not allow it.

Legolas struggled wildly, but his body was weak. He had traveled far without rest, and he had not eaten in days.

He was turned roughly, made to face his attacker who lay on top of him.

He ceased struggling as he met the steely glaze.

There was only one man on Arda who had those eyes.

"Aragorn." He whispered breathlessly. 

Legolas was confused, to say the least.

"Aragorn? But you are ill!"

Perhaps it was the king's mind that was not well?

"Nay. I am in perfect health, Legolas. And those are pillows on my bed, covered with a sheet."

Aragorn sounded sane. He knew what he was doing. Legolas was truly puzzled now.

"But…I heard…Faramir said you…"

"Faramir is a loyal subject and friend, as is everyone, it would seem. It was Gandalf's idea. He assured us that you would come if you thought I was ill."

The man's words made no sense.

His fear gone, Legolas suddenly realized the position they were in. His body, long deprived of Aragorn's presence, stirred to life.

/No!/

Legolas cannot let Aragorn find out.

"Let me up." He needed to get some distance between them. He could not think like this.

Aragorn looked down on him and smiled, but did not move. Instead, he captured both of Legolas's hands and pinned them to the floor on either side of the prince's head, trapping the elf.

"Aragorn?" Legolas was worried now. Aragorn was acting very strange.

"I looked for you. Everywhere. I ordered my men, sent out as many as I could for I myself could not leave. Yet they failed to find you. I was beginning to lose hope."

Aragorn looked at Legolas, and the prince could see the seriousness in Aragorn's eyes.

"Why did you leave?"

The question was whispered, but it held no tone of anger or hurt…only curiosity.

/Of course, you fool. Why would it hurt him if I left?/

Legolas was hesitant to answer.

"I already know, but I need to hear you say it."

Legolas looked up at Aragorn's face in alarm. He did not know if the king was jesting, or if he truly did know.

Legolas could not read anything in Aragorn's eyes.

The man smiled at him.

"Tell me."

Legolas remained silent, unsure of what to do.

"Alright then. I shall ask you. All you need to do is answer yes or no."

Aragorn shifted on top of the elf, pinning the prince more securely beneath him, bracing himself for any form of attack. Then he gazed intently into Legolas's eyes.

"Did you leave because you love me, Legolas?"

Legolas's eyes widened, hearing the man's question.

/He knows. Oh Valar, Help me!/

Legolas began to struggle, but Aragorn held him fast. The elf began to panic.

/He knows. He'll hate me for sure! I need to leave! I should never have come here! I need to go!/

"Let me go." He pleaded the man. But Aragorn shook his head.

"No. Legolas, stop struggling!"

But Legolas needed to go. He had to leave. He could hear Aragorn's words, telling him his feelings were unrequited, that he was foolish to even hope, even think that Aragorn would ever think of him that way. Legolas closed his eyes. He could feel the tears forming.

"Let me go. Please!" He pleaded, his struggles renewed and more forceful now, borne of desperation.

"Legolas, it is alright. Stop fighting me!"

But the prince continued to fight. His mind was panicking and he could not stop.

/He'll hate me! He'll hate me!/

His worst fears had come true.

Then a miracle happened.

Lips were suddenly upon his own. An insistent tongue was pushing against them, demanding entrance. Legolas instinctively opened his mouth.

A slow moan escaped his throat.

Aragorn was kissing him. His beloved was kissing him.

Before he could think further, could entertain the idea that this was but a dream, his mind went blank as the man deepened the kiss.

Aragorn's hands were now tangled in his hair, and the elf's hands were free. Out of their own volition, they circled the man's neck and pulled him closer.

Passion flared, and both were carried away with the powerful current. All things ceased to exist but the two of them.

Clothes were discarded. Moans filled the room.

Briefly, Legolas's mind registered the thought that Aragorn was making love to him.

/A dream. It is all a dream./

But a wonderful dream it was.

When the man filled him, Legolas screamed, but not of pain, but of pleasure so strong it went beyond his imagination.

It grew stronger with each touch, each kiss and caress. Each thrust brought him closer to heaven.

Legolas was soaring. And then, he reached the pinnacle, the highest point. Once again he screamed. Then he began to fall.

As his breathing came back to normal, Legolas slowly opened his eyes. 

Aragorn was looking at him. The man looked smugly satisfied.

"Was that a yes?" The man asked, a smile accompanying the question.

Legolas was still trying to comprehend what had happened.

Had Aragorn really just made love to him? But…

"Aragorn…what of Arwen?"

The man laughed, but seeing the pain that crossed the elf's face, he grew serious.

"When Arwen was on her way to the sea to sail, she saw a vision. It was a child, running towards me. It was obvious that he was my son. And he wore the evenstar. It was then that she realized that it was her son as well. Why else would he be wearing it?"

Aragorn placed his arms around Legolas when the elf almost pulled away. The man held the prince securely.

"So she came back, to me. It was our future. It meant that she was to stay with me. So she came back. On the day of my coronation, she came here. I was surprised, pleasantly so. I had not seen her for a while. I thought she was my beloved, as she has always been."

His arms tightened when he felt Legolas pull away again.

"My mind was made up. I was to marry her, as I had always planned. But something unexpected happened."

Aragorn smiled at Legolas's slightly puzzled expression. He bent down and placed a kiss on the tip of the elf's nose. Legolas blushed.

"On the day of my coronation, during the festival, I realized something was wrong. You were not there anymore. I looked for you, but there was a large crowd. So I decided to find you later. As the day passed, the feeling of discomfort grew stronger. Finally, I began to ask people if they had seen you."

Aragorn took a breath before continuing.

"I saw Gandalf, and as I had with everyone, asked it he had seen you."

"He told you." Legolas whispered.

"Not at first. He only said that he had seen you leave. He only told me later. You see, when he said that you had left, I assumed he meant you only went somewhere near, and that you were coming back."

Legolas looked up at Aragorn.

"But then he explained that you were never coming back."

Aragorn drew a shuddering breath and his body tensed slightly.

"My whole world shattered. I felt like I had suddenly lost everything. I asked why, what had happened, if it was something I had done."

Legolas was about to reassure him, but Aragorn held up a hand.

"He assured me that I did not do anything. I wanted an explanation then. I would not let him NOT tell me. People began to stare as my voice became louder. So he told me. When he did, I realized my mistake."

Legolas was afraid to hope. There was no hope…was there?

"I knew then, at that moment, who I wanted to spend my lifetime with. It was not Arwen. I was about to go after you, when Arwen came to me, alarmed, and said she needed to talk. We left the feast and went to the gardens. She began to cry. I asked her what was wrong, but she would not tell me. She only kept apologizing, saying she made a mistake. Finally she regained her composure."

The prince did not know where this was leading to, but he listened quietly.

"It would seem that what she had seen on the way to the boats was not complete. During the feast, her vision was completed. She saw the child in my arms, wearing the evenstar. The child had looked at her, and that was where the vision ended at first for she turned away. But then it continued. You see, as I carried the child, an elf entered the vision. This elf was fair-haired, with the bluest eyes in all of Arda. He came to where we were, the child and me, and joined our embrace. The child's eyes lit up and he immediately went to the elf. Arwen said she heard the child call the elf ada."

Legolas still did not understand. Who was the elf? Did that mean the child was not Aragorn's?

"The elf smiled at the child, and then turned to me, leaning forward to give me a kiss. It was not passionate, more like affectionate. But it was long. Only when the child begin to giggle did we stop kissing."

Legolas held his breath…afraid, yet hope filled him.

He…Aragorn said the elf was a he. Fair-haired…

/Please…Oh Valar grant me this one happiness…/

Aragorn smiled at him, seeing the hope in his eyes. 

What Legolas saw in Aragorn's eyes took his breath away and made his heart stop beating.

Aragorn's eyes were filled….

"Legolas, the elf was you."

With love.

End 2

Does this qualify as an epilogue?


End file.
